


rewind the tape (all it does is pause)

by damieclayton



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, don't know what this is, just bored turns out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:46:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29453259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damieclayton/pseuds/damieclayton
Summary: collection of moments taken from dani and jamie's life, in any universe that they may be together.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie, Hannah Grose & Owen Sharma, Hannah Grose/Owen Sharma
Comments: 1
Kudos: 59





	1. sleep on the floor

It wasn’t uncommon for Jamie to spend the night at the manor when the weather would act up. Heavy storms, Dani had grown to find, weren’t exactly common, but unbelievably atrocious when at their full magnitude.

It  _ also _ wasn’t uncommon for Dani, Jamie, Hannah, and Owen to sneak a few bottles of liquor when the children were fast asleep for the night. 

Hannah had a couple of drinks before retiring for the night, leaving the other three to their own devices. Dani had somehow managed to stay relatively sober while Owen and Jamie were hammered. 

“If I have one more drink you lot won’t be having anything for breakfast in the morning.” Owen yawned and stood, stretching his arms over his head. “Reckon that’s my cue to go to bed. Think you should follow suit, Jamie.”

The brunette scoffed and waved him off. “Not likely, prat. You wish I would go to bed with you.”

“Insufferable, absolutely insufferable.” Owen muttered, looking at Dani for backup. She put her hands in the air, surrendering to the bickering.

“Oi, good choice, Poppins. Now I know where your loyalties truly lie.” Owen bid them a good night and left the room. Dani leaned over and kissed Jamie on the cheek before standing.

“Think we should get you to bed.”

“You can head up. I’ll be there in a sec. Just wanna tidy up the room a bit.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Jamie flashed Dani a small smile before shooing her away. “Probably will sober me up a bit, too.”

Dani nodded and made her way to the stairs. She paused, listening for a few moments to ensure that Jamie was actually getting up. Once she heard footsteps, Dani made her way up the stairs and to her room.

Dani hesitated by her door as she heard Jamie grumbling something along the lines of  _ how many fucking stairs are there, Christ Almighty. _

It didn’t sound like Jamie was making much progress in getting up the stairs, so Dani went about her nightly routine.

About ten minutes later, much of which was spent listening to Jamie going up one stair per minute, the other girl made her way to the bedroom. 

Dani was already under the duvet, back propped up against the headboard. She folded her hands on her lap when Jamie flew into the room, stifling a laugh. The room, except for the dim light streaming in through the window, was dark.

Dani squinted as Jamie’s hands were flying over her head. She barely registered the fact that Jamie was stripping in the middle of the room. Dani’s eyes widened when she realized Jamie was stark naked.

“Jamie?”

“Hi.”

“You know that there are some extra shirts in my drawer that you can wear.”

“Oh, alright.” 

Jamie stood still, hands on her hips. Dani didn’t dare to flip a lamp on.

“Are you, um, coming to bed?”

“No thank you.”

Dani sputtered and flipped the duvet off her legs. “No thank you?”

“Look,” Jamie began, arms falling limp at her side. “I’m sure you’re lovely and all, but I have a girlfriend.”

Dani couldn’t help the undignified noise that escaped her lips as Jamie lowered herself to the floor. “Are you fucking with me right now?”

“What’s that?”

“Jamie, cut it out and come to bed.”

“Already told you, I’m taken. Really, I’m flattered, but my intentions lie solely with Dani.”

Dani grumbled and swung her legs over to the edge of the bed and scooped the duvet in her arms. “At least take this? And a pillow, too. Hang on and I’ll grab you something to wear.”

“Thank you.” Jamie graciously accepted bedding and a t-shirt that Dani tossed over from the other side of the room.

“If you change your mind, your side of the bed is open.”

It turns out, as the morning light seeped into the windows, Jamie did  _ not _ change her mind. Dani woke up around seven to find her still on the floor, limbs sprawled out and the duvet barely covering her at all. She was snoring softly, and Dani took the opportunity to cover her. She hummed and shifted slightly, making no indication of waking any time soon.

Dani stifled a laugh and grabbed some discarded clothing from a chair in the corner of her room. She made her way to the bathroom to change.

When she came back out a few minutes later, Jamie’s head was on the ground and her arms were thrown across her pillow.

“If only I had a camera.” Dani mumbled before sneaking out of the room. 

The kids were still fast asleep and the kitchen was deserted. She took the alone time with great appreciation. She sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea, waiting for the house to wake.

It was slow, the waiting process. First Owen and Hannah around eight, followed by Flora and Miles about half an hour later. Owen began making breakfast as soon as the children padded into the room.

When Jamie finally came in, just a bit after nine, everyone, including the kids, were watching her intently. She looked like an absolute disaster, hair disheveled, wearing Dani’s t-shirt from the night before and an unknown pair of sweatpants.

“Looks like you had a rough night.” Owen gawked, Dani whispering over a  _ you wouldn’t even know the half of it. _

“I feel like I slept on fu—” a quick change in words noticing the children. “Bricks. Feels like I slept on bricks.” 

Dani excused the children and they barreled out of the kitchen and up to their rooms.

Jamie took a seat in an empty chair and Owen placed a plate and glass of water in front of her. She winced as she rubbed the back of her neck and looked at Dani with wide eyes. “Why wasn’t I in bed?”

“Told me that you couldn’t,” Dani sighed and took a sip of her tea. “You thought that you would be cheating on me with, well, me. Woke up this morning and your body was  _ not _ at a natural angle.”

Hannah chuckled lowly and shook her head. “Drink a bit too much, did you, dear?”

Dani stood and brought her dish to the sink. She approached Jamie from the back and wrapped her arms around the brunette's shoulders slowly. Jamie sighed and leaned back into the touch. Dani placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Thanks for not cheating on me last night, Jamie.”

“Don’t mention it, Poppins.” Jamie reached up and patted Dani’s hand lightly before gritting her teeth as her head began to throb. “Seriously, never mention this again.”


	2. time, space, silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> request: Could you do one where Owen and Hannah are visibly trying make a really down Jamie up, and Dani gets confused with that until Miles explain to her, so she turns the best girlfriend someone could have

If you would have told eight-year-old Jamie Taylor that she would one day be making a livable wage, working for a respectable family in the countryside, finding a family of her own, and holding the hand of someone who made her feel loved with her every waking breath, she would have believed you. Even for a split second. 

If you would have told the same to sixteen-year-old Jamie Taylor, who was spending her time racing through the streets of London, losing every piece of herself along the way, she would have called you a  _ fucking liar _ . 

If you were then to tell the same to a twenty-eight-year-old Jamie Taylor, the same Jamie who was living in that reality, it would still be difficult to accept. Realistically it felt like she was floating by, waiting for one small misstep to catch her and send the world crashing down. 

Still, she lived her days with as much positivity as she could muster, though many of those times were futile. 

Jamie would hardly allow herself to cave in, to fall back on her old ways of distance and short-tempered words, especially when it came to those at Bly. Those were the days that she was wound so tight, that her shoulders weren’t anything but tense, and she had to lock her greenhouse doors from all visitors. They respected Jamie’s wanting of privacy, even if they didn’t know the reasons. 

She would save those quiet moments of breaking to the confines of the quiet of her own flat where she knew she would be fine to sit in the middle of her entranceway and just let  _ everything _ go. 

She wasn’t sure what happened today. The morning was starting out fine, she felt  _ fine.  _

She was greeted by Flora in the mid-afternoon when the young girl had bounded into the greenhouse with a want of company, and Jamie didn’t mind. They were talking, laughing, and then Jamie’s sleeve got caught on a hook and her elbow nudged a pot off the countertop. It hit the ground, and Jamie felt something snap. 

With her head bowed and eyes squeezed shut, she had, as nicely and she could, asked Flora to go and grab Hannah. Asked her to tell Hannah that a couple of things broke in the greenhouse. 

Flora skipped out and Jamie tried to control her breathing by gripping the counter until her knuckles were white. 

She hadn’t even noticed Hannah arriving, followed by Owen a few moments later. Hadn’t felt Owen wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her away from the counter. Hadn’t felt herself fall to the ground in a heap of sobs, hadn’t felt Hannah and Owen following her, helping her try to breath, helping her try to regain some kind of composure. 

“Do you want us to grab Dani, dear?” Hannah had asked, rubbing Jamie’s back gently. She only shook her head. 

“S’fine. I’m fine.” Her words were forced through laboured breaths and Owen nodded his head to the door, mouthing an  _ I’ll stay here  _ to Hannah. 

-

Back at the manor, Flora bounded into the classroom, finding Dani sat at her desk and Miles reading a book at his. 

“Back so soon?” Dani asked, smiling warmly at the girl. 

“Yes, Mrs. Grose went out to the greenhouse, so I’m back here.” Dani frowned as Flora sighed and threw herself into a chair next to Miles. She got up quietly and made her way to the window, watching Hannah and Owen striding over to the greenhouse. 

“Was everything okay?”

“Jamie dropped something. I think it’s one of her days today.”

“One of her days?” Dani prompted, making her way to the kids, bending down to their levels. 

“There have been some times where Mrs. Grose has had us stay away from the greenhouse,” Miles began, closing the book delicately over his hand. “She says that Jamie gets sad and just needs quiet. Hasn’t been like that much since you got here.”

“We all get like that sometimes. Jamie just needs more space than us.” Flora reasons and Dani is about to ask more questions until a light knock sounds. 

Hannah peeks her head in the doorway, smiling softly at the trio. 

“Mrs. Grose, is Jamie okay?” Flora asks, resting her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. 

“Yes dear, she’s alright.” Hannah takes a short breath and turns her attention to Dani. “Miss Clayton, can you actually head over to the greenhouse? Owen is there now. I can stay here with the children.”

Dani is up in a flash, nodding her head and making her way to the door. 

-

By the time Dani gets over to the greenhouse, Owen is sitting cross-legged on the ground and Jamie has her head buried in her hands and her knees to her chest. She’s still, so still that Dani feels unnerved. Owen stands, careful not to make any disturbance, and shakes his head. He smiles sadly and flashed a thumbs up at Dani before leaving and closing the doors behind him. 

Dani makes sure to tread lightly, knows how she has felt, how she  _ still _ feels, whenever someone pushes themselves to get her back on track. 

She crouches down before settling to the right of Jamie.

“Jamie.” Dani whispers, not necessarily a hello but just a recognition of the situation. 

“Hi, Poppins.” Jamie’s response is muffled and caught in her throat. 

“Can I touch you, Jamie?” Dani waits until Jamie nods curtly and she moves in front of the brunette. Dani gently grabs a hold of Jamie’s hand with one hand, the other tilting Jamie’s chin up. 

Her face is ghostly pale and splotchy from crying. Dani rests her hands on Jamie’s cheeks, and Jamie sighs and tilts her head into the touch. Her eyes remain closed.

“Do you want to talk about it? Don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Just a bad day I guess.” Her eyes blink open slowly, adjusting to the sunlight streaming in. They still don’t focus on Dani. “Haven't had one of those in ages. Panic attack, I mean.”

“Jamie, look at me.” Dani’s not commanding, not in the least — just focused on ensuring Jamie is okay, not lying her way through. Jamie huffs and her eyes finally find Dani’s. Stray tears fall from her eyes and Dani catches them quickly with her thumb. 

“‘S just a bad day, Poppins. Get ‘em from time to time.”

“I’m not,” Dani paused, trying to find the right words to say, the right words to not press farther into a situation than she should. “I’m not going to tell you what to do. I’m not going to sit here and preach to you about talking about your feelings and what you’re thinking, no matter how intrusive something may be. Frankly, I’m awful at doing it myself, so I’m not preaching. But, Jamie. Jamie, you need to talk to someone. Get it out. Doesn’t have to be me, doesn’t have to be Owen or Hannah. Doesn’t have to be anyone if you want. You can write, you can go somewhere private and just talk to the wind. Bottling makes everything worse. So, so much worse.”

Jamie nods and takes a shaky breath. 

“You told me about your childhood, about everything in between now and then. That took courage, Jamie. Expressing those emotions shouldn’t shake your pride. It should make you feel brave, powerful. It should make you feel lighter. Maybe not all at once, but over time, yes. Jamie, how can I help you right now.”

“Don’t have to.”

“Please, let me. At least a little bit. I’ll do anything right now. Literally anything.”

“Can you grab me a blanket from over there?” Jamie motions to a set of chairs on the other side of the room. Dani is back in a flash, wrapping the fabric around Jamie’s shoulder. 

“What’s this for?”

“Gonna lie down for a bit.” Dani scoffs and shakes her head furiously. 

“No, not on the ground.”

“Dani—“

“We’re gonna get you to an actual bed. No way in hell I’m letting you take a nap on the floor right now.”

Ignoring a multitude of grumbling and muted curse words, Dani got Jamie steadied on her feet and walked her back to the manor. They made their way up the stairs and to Dani’s room slowly, mostly for Jamie’s sake. 

“I’ll grab you some clothes to change into.” Jamie doesn’t protest, doesn’t make a sound. Just stares at the ground. 

Dani returns a moment later with a t-shirt and sweatpants, and Jamie thanks her with a nod. Dani kisses the top of her head and steps out of the room for Jamie to change. 

Giving it enough time, she makes her way back in to find Jamie already curled under the duvet, breathing lighter than Dani had heard it that afternoon. 

“What do you need?”

“Poplins I’m—“

“Please.” It’s not much of a plea, but a request. Jamie sighs and squeezes her eyes shut. 

“Can you stay with me? Just a for a little bit at least? Until I fall asleep or somethin.’”

“Yeah, yes, yes. Let me just go tell Hannah, okay? I’ll be right back. 

Hearing Dani’s footsteps receding, Jamie tries to cry but can’t bring herself to even feel like doing so. 

There’s something cruel about letting yourself go like this. Something cruel about giving your most vulnerable self away to people other than yourself. 

Jamie realizes this, realizes that it’s taken her so long to allow herself to feel tired around someone, allow herself to allow help in return. 

Family, she reasons, isn’t the fucked up mess she came from. It’s the people she has now — Owen, Hannah, Dani, hell, even the kids. She learned what losing family meant not from Louise or Dennis, but from Charlotte and Dominic, from Rebecca. 

Jamie doesn’t remember Dani coming back, knows she does, but was too far towards sleep. 

Jamie doesn’t remember Dani slipping away hours later, only returning to drop off an awful cup of tea that Jamie drinks happily and relishes in before going to tuck the kids in for bed. Doesn’t remember Dani bringing back a plate of food because she was too far towards sleep. 

Doesn’t feel Dani slipping under the duvet beside her, holding her close, whispering quiet reassurances into her ear. 

If you would have told eight-year-old Jamie Taylor that she would one day be making a livable wage, working for a respectable family in the countryside, finding a family of her own, and holding the hand of someone who made her feel loved with her every waking breath, she would have believed you. 

She would have held onto your words and forced herself to remember, to feel, to hope. 

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on tumblr (damieclayton) if you have any requests


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